My health patterns may look like the rollercoaster map of the Matterhorn at Disneyland, but I've had a massive amount of experience gaining and losing weight over the years. I've run many marathons, went through military basic training, and have experienced the weight gain that comes with being a father.

Below are the two most important things you could do for staying in shape, looking good, and keeping your bathroom scale happy.


1). Stop Eating Everything You See

It really is as simple as that. 70% of realized weight loss comes from limiting the massive amounts of food you limitlessly shove down your throat. Your mouth is not a garbage disposal.

2). Go Do Something

If there is something to do, get off your ass and do it. What the hell are you sitting on your couch binge-watching American Idol for? Go for a walk or clean the house! Stop being lazy and get moving!


That's really all there is to it. Here are some additional thoughts to keep you on the right track:


  • Fad diets and cleanses are nonsense. Once you stop doing them, you'll be right back to where you started.
  • Don't join a gym. They're expensive and you'll never go. Just get up and walk around for a bit every day. Start at 30 minutes and work your way up. Any calorie burn is good. Hitting the weights hard on January 1st will burn you out quick and won't be worth the day's effort.
  • Vitamins are bullshit. Don't waste your money. Don't eat burgers and microwaved foods every day. Try to eat things that are different colors and you'll be good.
  • Being healthy doesn't mean running 15 miles a day or competing in an Iron Man. Be realistic. You're a normal person with a normal life. Sure you could run the LA Marathon, but let's work on walking around the block every day first.
  • Stop buying into fads. Kombucha is shit. Kale is shit. Don't smoothie everything. Eat carbs. No you don't have gluten issues. No you don't need organic. Just choose good food and avoid the drive through.
  • Fitness video games are cute, but ultimately useless.



  • Buy a fitness tracker. Gamifying step counts have proven to be very successful. 10,000 steps is great, but aim for somewhere above 7,000 every day. Try not to feel bad if you miss.
  • Grab yourself a weight scale and a home blood pressure device. Watch your trends over time and keep on top of things before they get out of control.
  • Get a doctor. Listen to her / him. They will know best.
  • Schedule a yearly checkup with your doc. Test everything. Knowing is half the battle.